How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself by Robert Paul Smith

Author:Robert Paul Smith
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Tin House Books
Published: 2010-08-16T21:00:00+00:00

Sometimes you’ll find them half open and you can just pull the two halves of the burr apart with your fingers, sometimes they’re still so green you may have to stamp on the burr with your heel until it splits. If the horse chestnuts are ready to use, they’ll be brown, a real wonderful glossy brown.

If you split a couple of burrs open and find they’re white, or part white and part brown, or very light brown, you’ll have to go away for a day or two and try again.

Now let’s say you’ve waited and you’ve got a bunch of horse chestnuts. By the way, when we were kids, the horse chestnut tree in my neighborhood was on a neighbor’s lawn. It might be a good idea to ask if you can go get them, if your horse chestnut tree is on a neighbor’s lawn. Not that anyone wants them but kids, but the ones you can’t reach, you’ll jump for, and if that doesn’t do it, you’ll shy a branch up into the tree to knock them down, and if the neighbor has just invested three million dollars in new grass seed, he may not like having it all covered over with branches and burrs and kids. But I’m sure he won’t be a grouch about it. Chances are when he was a kid he did the same thing, and you’ll come home with as many horse chestnuts as you can carry. I don’t have to tell you to look at them, because they’re the nicest things in the world to look at, and you’ll be doing that anyway. If you want them to shine more, take them and rub them up against the side of your nose. Perhaps you’ve seen your father or someone do that with a pipe. There’s oil on everybody’s skin there and it oils up the chestnut or the pipe and makes it shine.

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